Historic Event Writing & Journaling

The personal, deeply emotional recording of the start of a war -- this one the Iraq war -- is far different from any text book writing. Here was mine written Wednesday, March 19th, 2003:

There was the U.S. claim that Iraq was hiding "weapons of mass destruction," and (possibly) Pres. George W. Bush's deep desire to finish the First Gulf War his father, Pres. Geo. H. W Bush had started.

... vs. the fact that if the U.S. did attack, it would be the first time our country would ever have initiated an unprovoked attack on another sovereign country. (maybe the first time any UN country would do that)

Would we or wouldn't we? There had been so many deep, heated discussions among friends, co-workers, family members, and others about what the decision would be.

      Surely we wouldn't.
                                        How could we not?

Then the day came. I sat alone in my living room experiencing and seeing the start of a war, and wrote my reaction to it. Here, from my journal:

The Bombing of Baghdad

Wed., March 19th '03 -- all day watching CNN & MSNBC.
This evening the countdown on the latter. Right now it's
5 minutes and counting. Counting towards what?

Armageddon? I'm starting to cry. This countdown isn't exactly like the New Year's Eve ball. But the reverse timing sounds & looks the same. Even that's obscene. Too much like a happy, hopeful, traditional annual event.

I cry -- from fear. Fear of what exactly? Some of it is fear of war, that huge physical and psychological catastrophe. But I think I'm really more afraid of the massive, all pervasive, painful changes that have already begun in the world -- that will surely intensify finding violent voice, as each of our planes drops murderous bombs on innocent people. It's the awful, shameful backlash of hatred from the rest of our fellow man.

I [a grandmother] feel very young & helpless -- vulnerable in ways that I don't even begin to understand. It's such a common phrase -- fear of the unknown -- it's so overwhelming, such a crushing feeling. The immediate future is suddenly scary, some anchor line has broken.

"Opening stages of the disarmament of Iraq" -- we've now begun bombing Baghdad. How very disingenuous of our media to phrase it like that!!  Early dawn in that capital, I can see an innocent softening of their morning sky on my TV. The bombing began about 1/1/2 hrs. after deadline.

3 carriers involved in first small strike against Baghdad.

Herald to the frenzied buildup. The feverish boil lanced.

"Decapitation attack"-- aimed specifically at Saddam. How hideous.

    "Pax Americana" -- said St. Louis journalist Ray Hartman.

         Peace indeed...

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Naturally, including the emotions of an event -- painful, joyful or otherwise -- is more effective than classroom essay style. *But it's also personally healing for the writer to release those emotions onto the page~

Peace to us all~

Lin